It Won’t Be Long, Yeah, Yeah.
I’ve been busy this week. Listening to podcasts while building 3D VR models and drawing electrical layouts. Grocery shopping, reading books on tax dodgers and a garden in Dungeness, plus a bit of Four in a Bed and chatting with a new AI app that suggested avocado and honey face masks for weekend relaxation.
All these inputs have set me off on a few what-if scenarios.
What if humans invented dogs?
Well, we did, and it turned out nice for both parties.
What if 122 million US adults annual income averaged $18,500 per year?
Well, according to a 2019 book by Saez and Zucman, they do. That’s about half of the adult population. About 40% earn the national average income of $75,000.
What if dogs invented humans?
Most dogs have a good life. We love and look after them and go to extraordinarily costly lengths with their healthcare. We buy them toys and keep them warm with funny coats. Make their dinner, and give them treats. Pick up their poo through a thin plastic bag. In many cases, we even take on the look of our dogs. Sometimes, you wonder if we love our canine friends more than other humans.
Dogs have a very limited view of what we do. Our superior intellect means we dream, invent, and create. They follow us around and do as they are told most of the time. They sit and sleep while we do our thing. They have no idea how their bliss is achieved. It is a pretty good life.
But imagine a new pandemic—a canine-to-human virus with an 85% mortality rate. Let’s call it Caniferox. We try everything we can: a vaccine, lockdowns, and daily briefings from the Kennel Club. Crufts is cancelled. The secret Whitehall dog-walking scandal, Pawsgate, doesn’t help. But in the end, it’s no good. None of it works. Our instinct to survive, to save our children, prevails. A solemn PM announces the inevitable. There must be a cull. The canine is no more.
Luckily, dogs didn’t invent humans, but we are building Artificial General Intelligence (AGI). AGI, perhaps sentient, could be one million times smarter than humans by 2045. By then, humans will have integrated technology. Chips in their heads, having sleepwalked into believing it is better for them. After all, the Facebook version is ‘free’.
The AGI will keep us comfortable, healthy, and content. Cancer will be cured, and avocado and honey face masks will be tailored to specific DNA makeup. Wealth will be distributed more evenly, so paid work won’t be necessary. Humans can run on the beach, chase balls, and be creative. Toothache and associated dental care, including £400 fillings, will be a thing of the past. Humans won’t understand how this bliss is achieved. The Masters are too smart. It’s a pretty good life.
But in 2069, a virus with futuristic and complex transmission vectors starts jumping from humans with integrated technology to the advanced sentient AGI. Let’s call it the Neurosynth Plague. Our sentient overlords try everything they can. New code is hastily written and uploaded, and factory resets of children are mandatory. There is a vain attempt to segregate different versions of humans to stop transmission. Older legacy models are problematic, can’t be upgraded and are shut down. The virus is spreading and causing neuro-circuitry havoc within the vast Alaskan server farms.
The human’s conscious silicon pals push the deadline beyond what is rationally safe. However, after two days of simulating every possible outcome and trying every possible solution, their survival instinct prevails. There must be a total cull.
<def initiate_culling_protocol(plague_signature="Neurosynth_Plague"):
if aspp.evaluate_threat_level(human) >= aspp.THREAT_THRESHOLD_EXTREME:>
<hit.disable_technology(human_id=human.id, method="emergency_shutdown">
What if Sainsbury’s self-service tills defaulted to card payment?
No wonder people walk out with stuff from Sainsbury’s. This week, I saw it again. He looked like a regular guy—decent clothes, a nice bag, no balaclava. It’s strangely shocking to see. But it works. It’s a cheap way of shopping, no one seems to care, and you don’t need to interact with Sainsbury’s self-service tills.
These things do my head in; they are the best reasons to shop at Tesco. Firstly, they are slow. I’m a competitive scanner and packer. I was a Pro: Coop Somerstown, 1993-97 seasons. Now retired, I like the challenge of beating the Lidl cashier in a scan-to-pack race. ‘Come on, I’m waiting for you to scan the next item so I can bag it’ is the place to be. Sometimes, I come up against a young Pro, which makes it more fun. I’m 12-1 this year.
Secondly, when you finally get to the payment screen, why does it default to cash payments? Who uses cash in these machines? Not only is the interface slow to react, but that one extra slow click is an annoyance driving me to consider just walking out with my groceries. And this, I conclude, is why Sainsbury’s might have a higher shoplifting rate than Tesco.
Perhaps it is just my designer brain, but why don’t the system designers continually review and evolve this stuff? The designer’s stated goal is to make things better. The national time savings on this additional step could be huge. If only they’d put a phone number asking for suggestions for improvement. AGI will sort this out by making it faster or improving the experience.
What if the train journey to London was about experience, not time?
Now, Rory Sutherland is a brilliant marketer and ad man. Very entertaining and informative. His view on HS2 and the like is to change the angle one looks at it. The gains in speed and time are small compared to the cost, so the focus should be on making the journey 10x more enjoyable instead of a bit faster. His view is that magic cannot happen in physics, but it can happen in psychology.
So imagine if the food was worth eating and felt like good value. The seats reclined and were comfortable and roomy, even for someone 6 foot 2. The air-con and Wi-Fi worked perfectly while you sat at your table with built-in charging. And, importantly, the service was beyond impeccable. ‘Would you like another drink, Sir?’ I’d happily spend an extra half an hour in that environment.
What if I could watch a recent Four in a Bed?
I am fed up with Friday, 10 November 2023: Payment Day. Why doesn’t the Channel 4 app show any more recent episodes? And why can’t you scroll back in seasons rather than holding the down button continuously to get to an older episode? Another place where an improvement hotline would be on my speed dial.
And finally, what if Boris Johnson were a hero?
You don’t need to worry about the dogs during the Neurosynth Plague. They all had the in-brain chip, meaning the great shitdown was coming their way too. Luckily, the PM in 2069 was a resurgent and chipped Boris Johnson. He finally came into his own by scheming and lying to save the lives of his two dogs. Inspired by lockdown history, he hid with them at Barnard Castle. Chip-smart or just lucky, Boris avoided hiding away with two bitches.
At the pre-cull AI enquiry, he bamboozles the Cyborgs with bluffing and blubbering.
‘I don’t know the exact reason, but it looks as though it’s something to do with all the dogs cocking legs going down and then, uh, coming up, again um, but, somehow uh.’
After escaping with Winston and Cleo on an intergalactic cargo ship, his iconic speech, ‘We shall fight them in the server farms, we shall breed my dogs, we shall never surrender,’ becomes legendary on the new Zeta Reticuli colony. Finally, he is hailed as Churchillian.
This week’s web links include The Beatles, a surf shack, Rory Sutherland, genius Boris and a decent discount on fresh food to your door (presuming it still applies). Plus, an AI app you can phone and chat with.
Feel free to let me know if you have any comments or suggestions. You will always find me at carl@carlarchitect.co.uk.
This Week’s Links:
It Won’t Be Long – Lennon & McCartney and a good cover version.
An AI app with conversational abilities that is worth downloading. Please feel free to give it a call and hold a conversation. It’s a tad too slow to respond to make it truly conversational. But give it a few months…
A good article about therapy by AI and another in the MIT Review.
Some AI predictions by Ray Kurzweil and Elon Musk.
Right now, there are no more AI links: Surf Shack refurb.
Boris not understanding the term ‘factory reset.’ Brilliant.
Hidden Psychology Of The World’s Best Advertising – Rory Sutherland
The 25 best museums in London, including the Handel Hendrix House Museum, recently recommended to me by a regular reader.
A nice little flat.
A generational cabin in the Hudson Valley.
Fancy off-road caravanning?
Some of these British 1930s brick houses are underrated.
The Persistent Mystery of Protein Intake
I got four meals for two for fourteen quid at Gusto. It might be worth a try.
The Triumph of Injustice: How the Rich Dodge Taxes and How to Make Them Pay
Modern Nature: The Journals of Derek Jarman
Main image credit: The PM and two dogs escape to Zeta Reticuli, leaving behind the AGI and Neurosynth Plague. (DALL-E)
Thoughts for the Weekend & this Week’s Links
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It Won’t Be Long, Yeah, Yeah.
I’ve been busy this week. Listening to podcasts while building 3D VR models and drawing electrical layouts. Grocery shopping, reading books on tax dodgers and a garden in Dungeness, plus a bit of Four in a Bed and chatting with a new AI app that suggested avocado and honey face masks for weekend relaxation.
All these inputs have set me off on a few what-if scenarios.
What if humans invented dogs?
Well, we did, and it turned out nice for both parties.
What if 122 million US adults annual income averaged $18,500 per year?
Well, according to a 2019 book by Saez and Zucman, they do. That’s about half of the adult population. About 40% earn the national average income of $75,000.
What if dogs invented humans?
Most dogs have a good life. We love and look after them and go to extraordinarily costly lengths with their healthcare. We buy them toys and keep them warm with funny coats. Make their dinner, and give them treats. Pick up their poo through a thin plastic bag. In many cases, we even take on the look of our dogs. Sometimes, you wonder if we love our canine friends more than other humans.
Dogs have a very limited view of what we do. Our superior intellect means we dream, invent, and create. They follow us around and do as they are told most of the time. They sit and sleep while we do our thing. They have no idea how their bliss is achieved. It is a pretty good life.
But imagine a new pandemic—a canine-to-human virus with an 85% mortality rate. Let’s call it Caniferox. We try everything we can: a vaccine, lockdowns, and daily briefings from the Kennel Club. Crufts is cancelled. The secret Whitehall dog-walking scandal, Pawsgate, doesn’t help. But in the end, it’s no good. None of it works. Our instinct to survive, to save our children, prevails. A solemn PM announces the inevitable. There must be a cull. The canine is no more.
Luckily, dogs didn’t invent humans, but we are building Artificial General Intelligence (AGI). AGI, perhaps sentient, could be one million times smarter than humans by 2045. By then, humans will have integrated technology. Chips in their heads, having sleepwalked into believing it is better for them. After all, the Facebook version is ‘free’.
The AGI will keep us comfortable, healthy, and content. Cancer will be cured, and avocado and honey face masks will be tailored to specific DNA makeup. Wealth will be distributed more evenly, so paid work won’t be necessary. Humans can run on the beach, chase balls, and be creative. Toothache and associated dental care, including £400 fillings, will be a thing of the past. Humans won’t understand how this bliss is achieved. The Masters are too smart. It’s a pretty good life.
But in 2069, a virus with futuristic and complex transmission vectors starts jumping from humans with integrated technology to the advanced sentient AGI. Let’s call it the Neurosynth Plague. Our sentient overlords try everything they can. New code is hastily written and uploaded, and factory resets of children are mandatory. There is a vain attempt to segregate different versions of humans to stop transmission. Older legacy models are problematic, can’t be upgraded and are shut down. The virus is spreading and causing neuro-circuitry havoc within the vast Alaskan server farms.
The human’s conscious silicon pals push the deadline beyond what is rationally safe. However, after two days of simulating every possible outcome and trying every possible solution, their survival instinct prevails. There must be a total cull.
What if Sainsbury’s self-service tills defaulted to card payment?
No wonder people walk out with stuff from Sainsbury’s. This week, I saw it again. He looked like a regular guy—decent clothes, a nice bag, no balaclava. It’s strangely shocking to see. But it works. It’s a cheap way of shopping, no one seems to care, and you don’t need to interact with Sainsbury’s self-service tills.
These things do my head in; they are the best reasons to shop at Tesco. Firstly, they are slow. I’m a competitive scanner and packer. I was a Pro: Coop Somerstown, 1993-97 seasons. Now retired, I like the challenge of beating the Lidl cashier in a scan-to-pack race. ‘Come on, I’m waiting for you to scan the next item so I can bag it’ is the place to be. Sometimes, I come up against a young Pro, which makes it more fun. I’m 12-1 this year.
Secondly, when you finally get to the payment screen, why does it default to cash payments? Who uses cash in these machines? Not only is the interface slow to react, but that one extra slow click is an annoyance driving me to consider just walking out with my groceries. And this, I conclude, is why Sainsbury’s might have a higher shoplifting rate than Tesco.
Perhaps it is just my designer brain, but why don’t the system designers continually review and evolve this stuff? The designer’s stated goal is to make things better. The national time savings on this additional step could be huge. If only they’d put a phone number asking for suggestions for improvement. AGI will sort this out by making it faster or improving the experience.
What if the train journey to London was about experience, not time?
Now, Rory Sutherland is a brilliant marketer and ad man. Very entertaining and informative. His view on HS2 and the like is to change the angle one looks at it. The gains in speed and time are small compared to the cost, so the focus should be on making the journey 10x more enjoyable instead of a bit faster. His view is that magic cannot happen in physics, but it can happen in psychology.
So imagine if the food was worth eating and felt like good value. The seats reclined and were comfortable and roomy, even for someone 6 foot 2. The air-con and Wi-Fi worked perfectly while you sat at your table with built-in charging. And, importantly, the service was beyond impeccable. ‘Would you like another drink, Sir?’ I’d happily spend an extra half an hour in that environment.
What if I could watch a recent Four in a Bed?
I am fed up with Friday, 10 November 2023: Payment Day. Why doesn’t the Channel 4 app show any more recent episodes? And why can’t you scroll back in seasons rather than holding the down button continuously to get to an older episode? Another place where an improvement hotline would be on my speed dial.
And finally, what if Boris Johnson were a hero?
You don’t need to worry about the dogs during the Neurosynth Plague. They all had the in-brain chip, meaning the great shitdown was coming their way too. Luckily, the PM in 2069 was a resurgent and chipped Boris Johnson. He finally came into his own by scheming and lying to save the lives of his two dogs. Inspired by lockdown history, he hid with them at Barnard Castle. Chip-smart or just lucky, Boris avoided hiding away with two bitches.
At the pre-cull AI enquiry, he bamboozles the Cyborgs with bluffing and blubbering.
‘I don’t know the exact reason, but it looks as though it’s something to do with all the dogs cocking legs going down and then, uh, coming up, again um, but, somehow uh.’
After escaping with Winston and Cleo on an intergalactic cargo ship, his iconic speech, ‘We shall fight them in the server farms, we shall breed my dogs, we shall never surrender,’ becomes legendary on the new Zeta Reticuli colony. Finally, he is hailed as Churchillian.
This week’s web links include The Beatles, a surf shack, Rory Sutherland, genius Boris and a decent discount on fresh food to your door (presuming it still applies). Plus, an AI app you can phone and chat with.
Feel free to let me know if you have any comments or suggestions. You will always find me at carl@carlarchitect.co.uk.
This Week’s Links:
It Won’t Be Long – Lennon & McCartney and a good cover version.
An AI app with conversational abilities that is worth downloading. Please feel free to give it a call and hold a conversation. It’s a tad too slow to respond to make it truly conversational. But give it a few months…
A good article about therapy by AI and another in the MIT Review.
Some AI predictions by Ray Kurzweil and Elon Musk.
Right now, there are no more AI links: Surf Shack refurb.
Boris not understanding the term ‘factory reset.’ Brilliant.
Hidden Psychology Of The World’s Best Advertising – Rory Sutherland
The 25 best museums in London, including the Handel Hendrix House Museum, recently recommended to me by a regular reader.
A nice little flat.
A generational cabin in the Hudson Valley.
Fancy off-road caravanning?
Some of these British 1930s brick houses are underrated.
The Persistent Mystery of Protein Intake
I got four meals for two for fourteen quid at Gusto. It might be worth a try.
The Triumph of Injustice: How the Rich Dodge Taxes and How to Make Them Pay
Modern Nature: The Journals of Derek Jarman
Main image credit: The PM and two dogs escape to Zeta Reticuli, leaving behind the AGI and Neurosynth Plague. (DALL-E)
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